James Rodriguez Officially Unveiled At Real Madrid
Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher) Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there? Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is? Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time. Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier? Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit. Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her. Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet. Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math. Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today. Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations. Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book. Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it. Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them* Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave. Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so... Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass. Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know. Dad: Fuck the government. Dad: Fuck the school board. Dad: Close the door. Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens. Dad: I love puns. Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes. Dad: Please shut up. Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird. Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music. Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out. Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there. Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen. Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy. Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both. Dad: They act like I care what they think. Dad: I hate homework. Dad: I have decided to become a politician. Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
lesbeehive:

Les Beehive – Cult Movies by illustrator Alice X Zhang
lesbeehive:

Les Beehive – Cult Movies by illustrator Alice X Zhang
“This is the rape joke: My best friend was four years old the first time his father came into his room at midnight and tore out his throat. He still has days when I cannot hold him because the memory of a bleeding trachea haunts his doorway. He has not been home for the holidays in many years, but – even now – hands are seen as weapons. This is the rape joke: I have been told by more than twenty people that they have been raped. To all of them, I asked where the rapist was. From none of them, I heard ‘jail.’ This is the rape joke: Once my brother told me that I was so ugly, I would be a virgin forever. Unless someone raped me. But even they wouldn’t come back for seconds. This is the rape joke: I believed him. This is the rape joke: I now look at every woman on the street and wonder if the space between her legs is a crime scene, surrounded by ripped caution tape. The statistics tell me that this is so common that I will never be in a room that does not contain a survivor. Not even if I am in that room alone. This is the rape joke: I was thirteen years old, and he was supposed to be just a friend. This is the rape joke: When his older brother came home, the boy pulled away. He wiped the tears from my face and said ‘we should do this again some time.’ This is the rape joke: When I finally told my parents, they asked what I had been wearing. This is the rape joke: I had been wearing my innocence. My trust. I had worn the love I held for humanity and expected to be treated well. I had never been taught that I would be that girl, the one who keeps a mine of secrets between her legs – that girl was the slut. I wasn’t supposed to be breakable. What had I been wearing? I wore the rape joke, then I became it.”
alexanderskarsgardisbeautiful:

Entertainment Weekly cover for Season 4